Seize the Namas-day: September 2015

Friday, September 18, 2015

Confessions

Confessions are a funny thing. I have had to make a lot of confessions the past few months to myself and to others. But, I started thinking recently are confessions even worth it? What value do they bring? I have realized a pattern that when I make a confession or tell people things, it often leads me to being upset or opening an old or healing wound. Which led me to make the revelation for myself that I do not need to make anymore confessions that make me feel uncomfortable. Some things are okay for me, and only me, to know. As long as I know that it is something that SHOULD be confessed, do I actually need to do the act of confession? No.

This week was an interesting one where I toggled between making more confessions about myself and things that have happened. I took it out on my mat and I had two big breakthroughs this week. The first is I went an entire class (okay, until savasana) not thinking about ANY of it; this has not happened in years. The second is I was able to get halfway into a headstand! Any type of inversion is a fear of mine, you feel vulnerable, and exposed. So I was excited I am starting to get out of myself and push myself.

While I have been going back and forth internally about confessions, saying too much, saying too little, giving up too much information, etc., one thing is for sure - I am not off my new path. I might be going through changes, but I am happier with who I am and the people in my life than I have been in a long time. And, there are so many new relationships and experiences happening that I cannot help but feel blessed in a lot of ways.

Wednesday, September 2, 2015

A Noticeable Shift

Happy National Yoga Month! WHOOP WHOOP! I started this September & National Yoga Month off right by getting to my mat tonight. I have been very fortunate the past six days to have been able to practice four of them! Twice at my new studio in Pittsburgh and twice at my new Asheville studio! Throughout my practice in the last week, I have had some solid ups and downs. Thursday (the first time back on the mat in probably a month) I broke down and cried. The emotion just FELL out of me. Monday, I was so inspired by the instructor, the beautiful atmosphere of the studio, and how HOT it was in there that I absolutely KILLED my practice. I have had breakthroughs in the past week I haven't had before ... physically & mentally.

Sunrise on the Haleakala crater in Maui <3

Why now? Why am I seeing this shift in my practice? The only explanation I have is that I have finally let go and found a sense of freedom and of being content that I haven't had in a very long time. The past 2 months or so have been exceptionally bizarre. I began this personal development journey and I have developed my whole person at varying levels (physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, etc). My entire being is changing and it is all because I LET SHIT GO, I started to trust my intuition, and I have continuously self reflected.

I spent two weeks off of work in August traveling in California & Maui. These two weeks were LIBERATING. I went with three wonderful girls and DAMN did I sleep (a lot), hiked, swam in waterfalls, got a raindrop massage, drank some great local beers and wines (pineapple wine - YUM), and relaxed on some of the world's most beautiful beaches. This 'noticeable shift' of mine is not only a result of the journey I have started, but also of this trip. Naturally, I am going to overload you all now with some of my favorite pics of me and the quadz. Thank you Krista, Lucky, & Carolina for the best trip. I can't even start to write down the memories, laughs, and (yes) cries throughout those days. But, I do know that trip and each one of you individually have changed me. I love you all! (time to start planning the next trip :))

#mauiourwowie <3