Blog Post Throwback ~ Let's Talk About Negativity

Today I was going through one of my old blogger accounts and totally found a post that I wrote in January - exactly 6 months ago - and WHOA it's still so true.  #reblog

1/15/2014
I am having one of those days where I was driving to the airport, rushing around the airport from one end to the other, sitting on my flights, and driving to my client site and ALL I could do was think negative thoughts.  Things such as "I feel fat", "I hate going to work", "I want real, true love but I'm stuck", "Stupid class is starting, and whoa we have a lot of work", and lastly "I hate my life".  The last comment in particular really struck a nerve for me.  Really, KK?  Your life sucks that much?

These are things that 20-somethings are constantly feeling and thinking - especially the ladies.  How about we stop the negative talk and swing them into positive #firstworldproblems?  

Disclaimer: there are about a million blog posts similar to this out there and women will read 80% of them, feel good for five minutes, and immediately go back on to their complaining.  But, hey - it's worth a shot.  And, that brief time of feeling good, powerful, motivated, confident, and like it will all  'be okay' is what makes it worth it in the end.  Besides, I'm not some 'wise beyond my years' kinda person.  I am just like any other girl my age who thinks this same stuff - but, I just chose to write about it. 

I feel fat. - Maybe you are a little chunky or could afford to lose a few.  Maybe you're overweight or even obese.  Maybe you're thin, average, or skinny.  Really - what does it matter if you are not happy with yourself and your body?  I know heavier girls who love their body.  I know skinny girls who hate their body.  But, it isn't even their BODIES they are referring to.  They really mean themselves.  So, take a step back and ask yourself "is this really what I am mad about".  I have had eating disorders my entire life (anorexic, bulimic, over-eating, emotional eating) and you know what?  At any size or situation, I just wasn't ever happy with myself.  What else?  Oh, I still am not.  I still think I have so much growing to do.  Maybe we should all focus less on external things, and more on the internal.  

I hate going to work. So realistically 99% of the human population says this.  And, those that do not work hate NOT going to work.  No one likes to HAVE to do something - and, we HAVE to work (even if it is just being a mom or a 'trophy wife').  Think about what you actually hate.  Your coworkers, your boss, your client(s), the work you do, etc.  What is it?  Is it something you can change within your current organization?  Is it something that would require you to leave?  What is stopping you?  Fear of the unknown?  Well, guess what.  Life is unknown.  My thought is when you are ready - you'll be ready.  You'll pull the trigger when it is right for you - even if that is never.  Don't feel pushed or pressured into anything.  

I want real, true love but I'm stuck - I can totally resonate with this on SO many levels.  The sheer number of times I have been "stuck" is astonishing for someone who is only 26.  (I have also been told by every therapist [which is a lot] that I have seen that they have never met anyone more self-aware than me - I just don't do anything about it).  It is literally every relationship I have been in that I have created a bond and attachment that I haven't been able to break.  I think this warrants an entirely different blog post.  

Stupid class is starting - At least I am in a good grad program, I can afford it, and my company is paying for a huge part of it.  I am also blessed that I am able to not spend a time of time on school work and I can succeed (with a 4.0, nonetheless).  

I hate my life - Do I?  Do we all really HATE our lives?  Hate is such a strong work.  Sure, we dislike maybe even hate certain aspects of ourselves and the choices we make.  But, the truth of the matter is our choices define us - it makes us who we are.  Maybe we just need to stop hating, and accept.

The point I am trying to get across here is really our lives sometimes are just not THAT bad.  We try to remember the sad in life, and why we have reasons to feel blessed.  But, ultimately your life is your journey.  No matter how much you love someone, you care about someone, or how important they are to you - people are selfish.  What about being selfish in a hurtful to yourself way ... something to think about.