[[Disappointment]]

Disappointment.  That's how I felt Wednesday (and, in myself for NOT blogging in days).  I decided to go to an earlier yoga class so I could make it to dinner/drinks timely with my boss and peer who is rolling off our project.  It was labeled "hot yoga" which is what I normally go to in the later time slot at this studio and it is a great class.  I was excited, ready to let loose, and flow before shoving my face with carbs and wine. 

I knew the jive was off when I walked in and yoga mats were facing the wrong direction (there's my OCD for you).  Class started and I felt cold and tight.  Every movement was slow and nothing was truly "firing" me up.  I was confused if we walked into the wrong class; was this "restorative" yoga, certainly it wasn't hot.  But, it was. 

I was so disappointed I didn't have patience at all in the class.  I didn't want to do poses, I didn't want to stay in them; I wanted to give up and walk out of the room and go have a glass of wine.  Then, I started thinking about how strong the power of disappointment is.

My dad once told me when I was in college that life is just one disappointment after another and what matters is how you react to them.  Your entire life you dream and believe of becoming old enough to be on your own and live your fairytale life.  But really no matter how fortunate you are there will be disappointments in your life.  There are disappointments in the work place, in relationships, in friendships, in others, and in yourself. 

When disappointment hits it can come in a variety of strengths.  Sometimes it is so strong it is almost confusing - you don't even realize you are disappointed.  Sometimes you can't believe somehow wronged you - so you are disappointed in them and yourself.  Disappointment is incredibly hard to get over.  But, just like that disappointing yoga class ended - so will other disappointments.  It might take a long time and it might leave some residual effects.  These are your lessons learned.  These are the challenges you have overcome.  Disappointments are a major piece of the puzzle that makes you you.