5PM was rolling around yesterday and I was so excited that my 6PM Hot Yoga class was just around the corner. I have FINALLY gotten back to that place where I crave yoga and I actually look forward to going, to sweating, to letting go. I put on one of my favorite ellie.com outfits and off I went!
I hit the mat and got into my first downward dog ...it all went downhill at this moment. I realized just how exhausted I was and my body didn't feel right. I knew by 6:05PM this was not going to be like my last few practices - I wasn't going to be able to go hard and have "groundbreaking" moments.
A message you often hear from yoga teachers is how different your body is every day; a pose you could easily do yesterday you might not be able to do today. In our society we expect practice will make perfect, consistency, and if we could do something one day we would be able to do it today. We also sway towards instant gratification and not focusing on the long-term. I don't care how much of a yogi you think you are - at least 90% of us who practice yoga do care about being able to have a pose breakthrough, that we continue to improve, and that we feel as good and solid in our practice today as we did yesterday.
During my practice yesterday I just kept beating myself up thinking "you were able to do this the past few weeks" or "holy crap why does my downward dog feel like work and not a resting pose" or "why can't you stop focusing on everyone else in the room and how they are doing today". I was making an already terrible practice worse with my negative thoughts. I realized my yoga practice is exactly the same as my daily life. When you're going through a breakup, a death, or any other hard or challenging time in life some days are better than others. I always amaze myself when I wake up how I can be okay and other days I wake up and know today is going to be a rough one. BUT, that's life. Life is inconsistent, it varies day by day, and you certainly don't get perfect by practicing "life". So, why should I see my yoga practice as any different?
In my life I have a TERRIBLE habit of wanting instant gratification - never caring or thinking much about long-term. Like many others in our society I have a YOLO attitude. So when I am not being perfect, or able to do a certain pose, or hell even be able to get through one vinyasa without crying - I am my worst critic. We all need to just stop doubting our strength and our abilities and realize today (and, our practice) will end and tomorrow it will start new. Every day is a new day. Every practice is a new practice.
Namaste.
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